Hey there! It’s Wednesday! And I’ve lived through Y2K, the snowpocalypse of 2011 and an insurrection, but now there’s a shortage of Sriracha? Come oooon! We really need a break here. Anyway, here’s what you need to know today.

1. Hungry? Grab an Asian carp

Illinois has tried almost everything to prevent Asian carp from getting into the Great Lakes, from elaborate electric barriers to trapping them.

“Now vexed state and regional officials are trying another lifeline: rebranding the pest, in the hopes that human appetites and a propensity for overfishing will help them win the battle,” writes my colleague Bianca Cseke.

State officials today unveiled a new name for the carp — now called the copi. And they are calling the fish, once dubbed “bottom of the barrel,” as “nice and fresh” and “takes well to seasoning.”

Sooo … does it taste good?

“You’re not going to offend anyone with the flavor profile,” said chef Brian Jupiter, owner of Ina Mae Tavern and Frontier Chicago. “I think once people give it a chance, they’ll really like it.” [WBEZ]

2. Lightfoot and her allies block changing when Chicago’s speed cameras issue tickets

Mayor Lori Lightfoot used a disputed parliamentary maneuver to keep critics in the City Council from increasing the threshold for when speeding motorists get tickets from cameras.

The current threshold is 6 mph over the speed limit. But critics want to roll that back to 10 mph. Ald. Anthony Beale, who is pushing the higher threshold, accused Lightfoot of making up rules to prevent the full council from voting on the proposal today.

The news comes amid a broad debate over the racial equity of the speed camera program, how the city balances its budgets and the safety of pedestrians and bicyclists after a string of fatal traffic accidents. [WBEZ]

The council also today confirmed the appointment of Monique Scott to represent the West Side’s 24th Ward, a job formerly held by her brother, Michael Scott. [WBEZ]

3. Student enrollment at Chicago’s public schools is plummeting. So why is the district proposing a new $120 million high school?

A pivotal vote over building a new high school on the Near South Side was delayed today amid concerns over whether Chicago Public Schools needs to be spending $120 million on a new school amid declining enrollment.

CPS CEO Pedro Martinez said he made the last-minute decision to pull the proposal, which was up for a vote before the Chicago Board of Education, so he could answer more questions about the new school.

The proposal comes as Mayor Lori Lightfoot seeks a second term in office. Had the board voted against the plan, it would have marked a huge defeat for the mayor, who appoints members to the board. [WBEZ]

4. Most active shooter attacks are over before police arrive

There were at least 433 active shooter attacks in the U.S. from 2000 to 2021, and an analysis from The New York Times “reveals patterns in how they unfold, and how hard they are to stop once they have begun.”

Most of the attacks were over by the time police arrived, and when people intervened, they typically subdued the shooter physically, according to the data.

“It’s direct, indisputable, empirical evidence that this kind of common claim that ‘the only thing that stops a bad guy with the gun is a good guy with the gun’ is wrong,” Adam Lankford, a University of Alabama professor who has studied mass shootings, told the Times. “It’s demonstrably false, because often they are stopping themselves.” [NYT]

The analysis comes as more disturbing details emerged in the police response to the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas. An officer married to one of the slain teachers was detained and had his gun taken away when he tried saving his wife, who had called him and said she was dying. [KSAT]

In D.C., the Senate has begun consideration of a narrow bipartisan bill on gun safety that could become the first gun control measure to pass Congress in decades. [NPR]

5. Biden pushes Congress to approve a gas tax holiday

President Joe Biden today called on Congress to temporarily suspend the federal gas tax for three months, a move that could potentially save drivers about 18 cents per gallon.

But it’s unclear if Congress will act.

Democrats, including House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, are skeptical gas companies will actually pass the savings on to drivers. And Republicans have brushed off a gas holiday as a political stunt ahead of the midterm elections. [Politico]

Some economists also tell NPR a gas holiday is a bad idea.

“It would be very unlikely that gas prices would fall by more than a dime because of this change. And oil company profits would go up by billions of dollars,” said Jason Furman, who served as a top economic adviser to former President Barack Obama and is now at the Harvard Kennedy School. [NPR]

In Chicago, businessman and mayoral candidate Willie Wilson this week announced a $2 million giveaway in gas and food. The food giveaway will be on June 29, and the gas giveaway is scheduled for July 9. [Chicago Sun-Times]

Here’s what else is happening

• At least 30 Illinois residents are among the more than 800 people charged in connection to the Jan. 6 insurrection. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Vice President Kamala Harris will visit Chicago and Plainfield on Friday. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Young, female and LGBTQ employees at Starbucks are leading a “burgeoning labor movement” to unionize stores across the nation. [Washington Post]
• I’m really just sharing this story because of White Sox pitcher Dylan Cease’s pouty face. Sorry, Dylan. I’m a married man. [Chicago Sun-Times]

Oh, and one more thing …

All hail the cheesemonger!

Cara Condon, who works at the Beautiful Rind cheese shop in Chicago’s Logan Square neighborhood, recently won the 2022 Cheesemonger Invitational, a biannual competition of the world’s best cheesemongers, reports the Chicago Tribune.

“Cheese has given me a community that is unwavering in their support and friendships that have carried me through a lot of rough times. It’s so much more than cheese,” Condon told the Trib.

The invitational is super competitive. Cheesemongers go through several rounds that test their technical skills, salesmanship, sensory training and knowledge of cheese-related facts. [Chicago Tribune]

Tell me something good …

The Chicago Pride Parade returns this Sunday for the first time in two years. And I want to know how y’all like to party. What are your plans this year? And if you don’t have any plans, what’s one of your favorite memories of the LGBTQ holiday?

Jessie writes:

“I was in a costume shop killing time before the parade, and a girl walked in and complained that she already had glitter on her. Her girlfriend responded that she WISHED she had glitter on her.

“I, having just purchased glitter from the shop, offered her some of my glitter. In exchange, her girlfriend gave me a sip of the strawberry margarita she was somehow storing in a backpack with a straw. The whole exchange felt like the True Meaning of Pride!”

Feel free to email me, and your response might be shared in the newsletter this week.